hahaz... thank you samuel for your most creative news report!
Here's a mostly real extract by a teacher that i sort of created.
(Back at the staff room where no students are allowed)
Teacher1: wah... this is terrible. I hate the promotional exams!
Teacher2: huh? why? You aren't the one that's going to retain what! Haiyo!
T1: That's the only good thing lah!
T2: wad do you mean?
T1: Haiyo... you new teacher wun know one lar...
T2: Fill me in then...
T1: Every year ar... during the end of year, must set the paper for the students. U think set paper very easy issit?
T2: Well i heard u guys copy the questions from TYS... how hard can that be?
T1: Hah! That's where you're wrong! You know the TYS how big? If we don't read the whole TYS, how to choose question? Furthermore, choose the question liao still must go and change the values of the question. Otherwise those smart alec students who spend their lifetime doing TYS will know the answers immediately! Sommore change the values liao then the answer wrong then die... kenna scold by students sommore.
T2: Wow... that's tough indeed.
T1: It's not over yet! After setting the paper, during the exam, we are supposed to invigilate! U know how boring it can be anot!
T2: But aren't we supposed to be checking if the students are cheating?
T1: Haiyo... u tink this is primary school ar. JC full of clever ppl one ok! Where got people so stupid want to cheat one! Use your brain lar... how u become teacher one...
T2: Oh... sorry.. well what's next then?
T1: AH! I know you will ask one. Of course is marking the test papers lar. This one ar, must first go and apply for blood donation one. Because when we mark, not enough red ink, we can use our blood. Also, when we marking, we will be vomitting blood most of the time! Because our students' answers are so very the idiotic. And hor, cannot write anything offensive on their test paper! Or else the students' parents come and hantam you ar!
T2: Oh thanks for the advice....
T1: I havent finish!
T2: Huh? you mean there's more?
T1: Ya lah! DUH~! After marking, the students get back their papers, some of them will start crying! because they are going to retain. Then some more persistent ones will find all sorts of ways to get promoted! I give u one scenario.
Hi Mr.T1! (abruptly takes out penknife) IF U DUN LET ME PROMOTE, I WILL KILL MYSELF IN FRONT OF YOU! AND THEN GIVE YOU THE PENKNIFE!
T2: Wah... that's terrible. So did she die?
T1: No lar. And she got promoted anyways!
T2: Why?
T1: Because we thought that she was clever enough to come up with such a trick to threaten me. So we let her promote lar.
*Beep*(phone rings)
T1: hallo?
Student: Err Mr.T1 are you free? I need consultation.
T1: okok u sit there wait for me. I come out in 1 second!
*hangs up*
T1: haix... this is the 10th time a student come to ask me for consultation liao. Liddat no need break liao lor... Sianz... ok cya later ar bye bye.
T2: Bye Bye
*end*
So u can see that teachers oso very cham one... lolx
CRAPZ
Serviced at || 10:34 PM posted by Wei Hao aka WevHez @ 10:34 PM
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